We require headlines match the original with no editorializing. Please fix it or it will be removed.
Done.
Thank you!
As Jimmy Kimmel said: what do Pete Hegseth and Katie Zacharia have in common? Neither of them can pass the bar.
She was so excited at that press conference, saying how happy she was to be working for Trump.
I’m so pleased that this probably broke her heart. For the rest of her scummy life, she’ll always be remembered for being one of the most incompetent people among the the most incompetent people ever in the history of the US government.
Not sure if she’s capable of understanding any of this if you factor in the Dunning–Kruger effect.
Zacharia to Scaramuchi: “Look at me. I’m the measurement of incompetence now!”
He apparently said records are made to be broken.
Yeah, he’s probably relieved about it.
But we’re still going to use “mooches.”😁😁
he can finally breath a sigh of relief.
Americans will measure with anything but the Metric system…
She was press secretary for 0.3 hamburgers. That’s like less than a one hundredth of a monster truck.
1/100 Monster Truck ≈ 72 deflated footballs.
I thought a Scaramucci was 10 or 11 days, depending on whether you use the metric or imperial Scaramucci.
The Scaramucci is a complex number, because while he might have worked 11 days, he got fired before his contract started, so his total days of employment is weirdly negative.
Also he missed the birth of one of his children and got served divorce papers in those same days.
I think we can all learn something important from the amazing fuck up that Scaramucci achieved in such short time: Don’t do coke.
Tony really had one hell of a fuckin week huh!?
I’d watch that movie.
It’s called: The Hangover 5
At least he isn’t Steve Bannon, he isn’t trying to suck his own cock
Bananamooch for scale
Impressive since most thought a Scaramuchi was a fundamental unit
Eh. Fundamental units are about the unit itself and not the value. Like the second is the fundamental unit of time but you can really have fractions of a second. Or were you thinking of something like Planck units? Those are the smallest theoretical units that make sense given general relativity. So a Planck length is the smallest distance between two points that would be considered two separate points. Any closer and they are effectively the same point.
Maybe the Mooch was the Planck unit and the Zachariah is the quantum unit?
Maybe the Mooch was the Planck unit and the Zachariah is the quantum unit?
Hang on, I think others posted that Mooch was fired before he signed his contract. This would suggest that a Mooch is in superposition existing in both a fired from employment and not yet hired for employment simultaneously. So only observation can collapse the waveform to obtain a singular value of a Mooch for a given moment.
Ironically the name, “second,” implies that it’s not fundamental.
I was thinking smallest theoretical unit. I knew I had made a mistake and couldn’t think of the correct term. And I wondered if anyone was going to correct me. I’m happy you did.
The headline says 5 days… that’s less than half a scaramuchi…
Five days since her first press conference, but she started serving as press secretary on the 9th, two days earlier.
I was way off:
Creepy MAGA is creepy.
you know it smell crazy in there
Looks like he has two of those real dolls set up in there. Maybe too much teeth, though.
Wait a minute, all those promises of sex bots being made? Is the primary audience donnie? He loves Grok, too. It would make so much sense.
I once won tickets to see a variety show in Vegas, and it had topless women chorus line dancing between acts. If you had asked me before then whether I’d prefer a variety show with topless women or without, I’d have said, “With, please.” But that would have been wrong.
I swear, they all had the same desperate fake smile as Katie Zacharia in that picture, and they all were pushing out their chests with their bolt-on tits as hard as they could. I remarked to my date that all of the dancers seemed extremely motivated to display the most fake parts of their bodies, as I’m guessing their teeth were all fake, too.
It was all extremely off-putting, like they were all victims of human trafficking. I admit I couldn’t stop looking, either. It was sort of like looking at a car crash if all the victims had their fake tits out.
On the other hand, the variety act itself was extremely entertaining.
But anyways, based on Katie Zacharia’s smile in that picture, I can’t help but remember that very odd experience. One of the reasons I don’t like Vegas.
A single well tossed grenade would have been so satisfying.
In Minecraft 😅
Who is in the pink pants?
Not knowing who any of those homunculi are (and I don’t want to know), I’d guess pink pants is Natalie Harp holding his nappy bag (diaper bag for the Americans).
Natalie Harp is the blonde one in the back that looks like she’s cumming.
I seriously thought that was Ivanka
So does donnie.
1 Mooch = 2 Zacharias
1 quarter = 2 bits.
2 bit operation sounds about right.
And here I thought a mooch was an atomic unit. But no, they were able to do worse.
She didn’t even last half a Scaramucci.
Her only press conference was about 15 minutes long. It sounds like she burned up all of her allotted 15 minutes of fame in one go.
Seemed like she could barely read.
I came away with that impression too. What vexes me is that she did graduate from Pepperdine Law School. I think that’s probably the USC of law schools but damn dude she graduated from law school? Like how come she can’t read? I didn’t come away thinking that it was just nerves. I think it was an actual lack of ability to follow the text.
Probably relied heavily on ChatGTP and cheating to get through law school.
She’s in her 40s, she graduated in like 2007. ChatGPT wasn’t even a twinkle in Sam Altman’s eye then
Yeah, she likely had to rely on nepotism. Just like in the good, ol’ days.
And the now ol’ days.
So just cheating then.
What’s weird to me is that she still came off like a lightweight when she was talking with Adam Mockler on CNN I think it was, but I didn’t think she’d faceplant that hard.
Only redeeming feature is she looked like a former striper. Pretty hot
You cannot do a whole-ass head of lettuce with this administration. Pre-chopped bags from the recall left open on the counter is the only fair fight.
So diarrhea lettuce.
At this rate they are going end up with Stephen Miller in a blond wig and huge tits.
LOL. Dear god.
I still cannot believe the before and after pictures of her, though. Hooooooly shit.
This is a masterpiece
Him losing the lipstick in the 4th panel and getting it back in the 5th fucked me up NGL.
That motherfucker should have never been let out of that cave!
He could get some bimbofication tips from Kristi Noem’s husband!
Kristi Noem’s divorce attorney has entered the chat
Just when I thought nobody could break The Mooch’s record, we get a new unit of measurement for White House tenure.
What are we calling this new unit? A Zachariah? A Zack? KZ? Conversion is simple enough. 2 Zacks equal 1 Mooch.
Or almost 1 mooch? I though a mooch was 11 days
That’s what I was thinking too. I personally prefer a mooch being 11 days because the ratio becomes 5/11. I know it’s not 5/7 as in “a perfect 5 out of 7” but they rhyme and I like that. Also in decimal 5/10 is 0.5 while 5/11 is 0.454545454545. That’s some DaVinci Code shit.
Edit: on second thought I would prefer if the ratio was an irrational number. Someone figure that out for me.
ratio
irrational
I’ll get right on it boss
I think it depends on when you consider start and stop times. Someone said Mooch hadn’t even signed a contract before being let go implying negative days. It’s just all crazy.
“This story is free to read.”
If I have to log in to view it, it’s not “free” from you helping yourself to my personal info! 🖕 The New York Times.
God I love the “Bypass Paywalls Clean” extension. NYTimes always thinks I’m a bot.
I’ve lost track, is this number four?
This is the Trump administration. Just have an AI Super American Eagle do the press releases. He can have catchy phrases and wear a red-white-and-blue top hat. And a monocle!
Nailed it, I win mods close thread
Nope. Said AI instead of SI. ICE is already surrounding your location.
Nothing not funny about this.
