You may fascinate just about anyone by giving them a piece of cheese.
I’m not a woman, but that will work on me.
Fun fact: I almost lost a GF once, due to a lack of cheese (in my refrigerator).
Duley noted. This may work better than my method of crying and begging for affection. So far, zero percent success rate
Maybe you need to cry even harder?
I love the ambiguity of what you’re supposed to throw in the river
I love what appears to be a citation.
It finally makes sense, Tom is a man and Jerry is a woman.
So you’re saying there’s a chance anyone fascinated with a piece of cheese might be a woman?
You’ve got it all wrong. Any woman with fascination might be a cheese.
And here i was hoping any fascination is a woman cheesing it.
Lets test that: 🧀
Are you a woman now?
Who needs estrogen when you have c h e e s e
Por que no los dos
… Maybe.
White people love cheese
Do non-white people not love it?
On average non-whites are like 60-90% lactose intolerant
My pasty-ass ancestors are the dipshits who figured out sucking cow titty can work, most of the rest of humanity didn’t try it and never developed the genes needed for it as a result
They do. But you give the meanest white man a piece of cheese, he turns into Mr Rogers
Grandad, you can’t tame the white supremacist power structure with cheese
I love that the one about hurling hair accessories at moving bodies of water has a footnote and that there’s already been 12 other such clarifications in this treatise 😄
i had this book when I was an edgy teenager in my middle class bedroom rubbing olive oil on taper candles from the grocery store and… wait this is sounding like something different entirely
where are those candles winding up?
yeah i know it dawned on me quite quickly where it sounded like that was heading…
these “white magic” paperback books from Borders would have you anoint candles with oil to like, I dont fuckin know, endow them with your intention (Id wish the girl in algebra would notice me, so the book’d tell you to think about her while putting oil on a pink candle so when you burn it your “spell” would go into the air or some crap)
that particular book there though was page after page like that where it said shit like “for protection from your enemies wrap some wire around leaf and put it under your doormat”
That’s a kingly gift right there, gotta be expensive af
I hope they ended up getting married.
I heard they had a cheesy wedding
Cheese is good
Smell my cheese!
This spell has mixed results with my fiance; she LOVES cheese but is horribly allergic to it. Not life-threatening, but painfully bad.
According to the book, there’s no need for them to eat it, you just have to give it to them, although I think they may have mixed up ‘fascinate’ and ‘confuse’.
Is she allergic to it because of the lactose? We can already make vegan cheese that’s the exact same as real cheese (literally, I don’t mean it just tastes the same) except that it doesn’t contain lactose. There’s a company in Europe that’s ready to mass produce it but the EU is taking their time with giving them the permit to sell it. I don’t know how the situation is where you live.
