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Holy shit! This appears to be real and as funny as it seems.
Bot started offering absolution and such.
Yeah they don’t put him in the uniform anymore lol
it’s what believers crave! it’s got electrolytes!
You can literally do it with spit… And that’s not a hypothetical. You can do it with any fluid if necessary… How is this controversial?
Idiocracy 2, where the dumbest priest ever is sent into the future to save Catholicism.
Sippin on the haterade as usual.
its not?
wow they weren’t kidding about civ7
I mean, I’m not a theologist or anything, but based on other precedents, if someone was dying and what to be baptized at the last second, and no source of water could be arranged on time, the Gatorade baptism would probably be accepted by the Catholic church.
Transubstantiation of Gatorade into Holy Water doesn’t even sound that outrageous when priests claim to transubstantiate wine to blood on a daily basis.
This seems to mean that priests can theoretically make any liquid holy, thereby making holy Gatorade.
I just checked and it seems that unfortunately not. At least catholic Priests are only allowed to bless “true water”, which is usually understood to mean that nothing was purposely added to it (with the exception of certain salts for rituals like exorcism).
So is tap water okay, or only where it isn’t fluoridated? What about sea water ? Heavy water ? Rain water ?
Bartender: “Sorry, dude, you’ve had quite a lot, I have to cut you off, just water for you from now on.”
Jesus: "Dammit… "
Sam and Dean using Holy Church flavoured Gatorade to defeat evil, then drinking the rest to recover their lost electrolytes…
I legit thought it was going to say it found some way to molest a kid
Somehow, I imagine it similar to this
That usually results in promotion
Drink of the Riptide Rush, and be healed!
Randal: Hockey’s hockey. At least we got to play. Dante: Twelve minutes is hardly a game. Jesus, it’s hardly even a warm-up. Randal: Bitch, bitch, bitch. You want something to drink? Dante: Yeah. Gatorade. Randal: Hey, what happened to all the Gatorade? Dante: Exactly! They drank it all!
I mean, water has to be blessed by a priest first before it becomes holy. So, what if the only thing available is a bottle of Gatorade but you have a priest? Couldn’t he bless the Gatorade so that the person could be baptized?
Yes, that would be consistent with Catholic doctrine.
Which means the AI is entirely correct.This is an interesting question. You can use saliva to baptize in the event of an emergency (lick your thumb and make the sign of the cross on the forehead, in the name of Father, Son, Holy Spirit—but that would likely need a secondary “proper” baptism if the emergency passes, this one counting as “conditional”). Which I guess would supersede ever needing Gatorade since you always have saliva.
If you mix holy water with Gatorade powder does it become holy Gatorade?
Semen is like 85% water
Seems your method of baptising children has already been discovered and is in heavy usage amongst all the christian sects.
Yes, but, every sperm is sacred, so God might get irate.
He’s not the mesiah, he’s a very naughty boy.
“It’s what plants crave.”
That’s how crocodile hunters are baptized.
