You love to see it
If the British government browsed Lemmy, they’d be very upset right now.
I hope they do, fuck the British government.
They’d be upset anyways since there are trans people and people who understand that Israel is doing genocide in Gaza here
This highlights a big flaw in the golden rule: people want different things
Perhaps unsurprisingly this has been a thing in philosophy of ethics for awhile now. Copper rule gang rise up!
Copper Rule:
Do (or don’t do) unto others as they would (or would not) have you do unto them
Basically treat people how they want to be treated.
TIL: When people refer to choking during sex, it’s actually choking.
I thought it was just called that way, in a similar way to “choker” being a close-fitting necklace, just lightly pinning down someone by their neck. Not strangulation.
That can also cause damage, just FYI. There’s a lot of invisible damage that can happen to the delicate tissues of the neck and throat.
Yeah, I’m somewhat experienced in kink irl (been pretty involved in scenes for most of my adult life and have been an edge player in some form for a lot of it) and choking is way more dangerous than people think. People will point to blood choking (squeezing the arteries at the side of the neck) or air deprivation as the “safe” way to do it, and yes, they’re safer than windpipe choking, but any time you are depriving a brain of fresh oxygen to the point it’s noticeable there is a chance it will cause permanent damage. For anyone who’s interested in learning more Jay Wiseman is the traditional go to on this specific topic.
Your body, your life, your decision what risks you take, but personally it’s the only kink that the more I’ve learned about safety regarding it the less willing to take part in it I’ve been.
Some people definitely want just like a hand necklace, gentle, no pressure. A LOT of people want to actually asphyxiate. My wife, for example.
This distinction has caused much confusion. Safer to assume the first option.
Btw you should tipi your hand a bit so they dont like, actually die. Were here to have fun and all.
Don’t assume anything and just ask. It’s very sexy to ask.
This is exactly what happened to me. I had never been choked, nor had I ever choked someone. Was making out with girl, she was on top of me, and then started choking me. I was so confused and horny. Eventually asked her about it and yes, that is what she wanted done to her. Like Jesus, just say so.
Thought this was a Miisha post
Honestly me too
Fun fact: choking during sex is the second most common cause of stroke in women under 40. Source.
When you cut off blood supply to the brain you start damaging it real fast. There are studies measuring blood biomarkers of neural injury and inflammation in women who report being chocked during sex and it’s clear that choking causes brain damage. According do experts there’s no safe way to do it. It’s just another disturbing, violent trend popularized by porn.
Thankfully my wife is over 40, so it looks like we dodged that bullet.
Why does it have to be about violence and porn? Talk about the dangers all you want but that shit just genuinely feels like crack. You get flooded with brain chemicals that feel euphoric. Focus on the important bits about the risks rather than applying stupid moral judgements.
Ok but you do realize how comparing it to crack is not helping here right
Like I’m more than happy to also warn people to stay tf away from crack lol
Thank you for speaking up and posting this source. I know you and I haven’t historically gotten on well, but I fully agree with you here.
The euphoria is from the hypoxia, I think. In which case, a similar high could be had by scheduling sexy times in an oxygen tent mountain climbers and endurance athletes use for training.
It has nothing to do with euphoria. From the source:
In 2021, a research team led by Debby Herbenick, provost professor at the Indiana University School of Public Health, interviewed 24 women aged 18 to 33 in depth about their experiences of strangulation during sex. Although, for most, their first experience had involved no prior discussion – including one who was having sex for the first time – the majority now viewed it as “routine and regular”. All believed it was safe, despite experiencing many physical reactions, including coughing, gasping, difficulty swallowing and breathing and vision changes. Some said they accepted being choked for their partner’s pleasure, even though they didn’t personally find it arousing. Others did enjoy it and sought it out as “adventurous” and “exciting”.
The paper notes that historically, autoerotic asphyxiation is rare among women and adds, “It is curious how sexual asphyxiation, which has long been described as predominantly engaged in by/for men’s arousal, has become so frequently enacted by men on women partners.”
Bows makes the same point. “What’s not being talked about is that this is happening overwhelmingly to women by men. If you accept what people will argue – that this is an activity that’s enjoyed because it’s ‘sensual’ – then why aren’t men the recipients more often? To me, it’s just another way we’ve culturally legitimised men harming women.”
It just keeps going like that. It’s really wroth reading.
“then why aren’t men the recipients more often?”
I’d be interested to know the source on this, because I know plenty men who are into this. Even in the paragraph prior it states, “sexual asphyxiation, which has long been described as predominantly engaged in by/for men’s arousal.”
That said, full consent and knowledge about the potential long-term physical harm are absolutely critical
It says “The paper notes that historically, autoerotic asphyxiation is rare among women”. So it seams to suggest that before choking your partner became common it was mostly men to chocked themselves while masturbating. Now it’s mostly men that choke women. It doesn’t say it doesn’t happen to men, just that women were not into it before and now it happens to them more.
idk if you were trying to be funny or not, but it is driving me INSANE:
choking*
This is such a crazy extrapolation to me, especially as someone who has had a girlfriend die from (EXTREMELY STUPIDLY) doing unsupervised breath play on herself.
So this one case proves that women did it as often as men? Ok…
The study didn’t test that men did it more or not. They just asserted it without data to back it up
maybe some people like having their brain shut off somewhat, and that’s actually the entire point? maybe not everyone likes being hyper-aware of everything all the time?
Within kink it you aren’t learning the basics of the risks of something before doing it you aren’t following either of the dominant models of how to properly engage. Safe Sane and Consensual demands you learn enough to confirm something is safe (most people consider choking incompatible with this model). Meanwhile Risk Aware Consensual Kink demands you make yourself aware of the risks before consenting.
I get wanting to turn your brain off. I love subspace in part because it shuts my brain off. But going into something in kink without doing your due diligence is how you risk getting seriously injured. I play with fire and electricity, but consider choking too dangerous for me.
If I found out someone who told me they had plenty of experience bottoming for electricity (and thus I didn’t give the safety spiel) didn’t understand that it can fuck with implanted electronics and can be fatal to people with pacemakers (very basic safety knowledge for estim), it’s unlikely they’d ever be able to convince me to play with them again. I’d just consider them to be too reckless.
BDSM is dangerous at times. It’s fun as all hell, I fucking love it, but it has dangers. You need to use your brain first so you can decide how you’re comfortable turning it off.
Liking it doesn’t take away the risk. There’s a lot of things we do in life that have risk, but we still do them for various reasons.
By all means, enjoy the thrill! But educate yourself and be aware that there is no completely safe way to choke or be choked. And of course always get consent.
From what I’m reading there’s no “risk” involved: it’s just harmful. Risk implies it can be done without any harm, but harm is more likely than not. Smoking cigarettes isn’t risky behaviour it’s harmful behaviour.
I believe their question was WHY do people enjoy it. Which I’m also curious about.
I don’t think people do. The behaviour probably stems from a desire/need to satisfy their partner. Pavlovian conditioning probably plays a role too.
My comment still stands. Some people like it, whether it’s because of porn or not, but it’s really important to know that it is never safe to do.
OK but what if I really like being choked a little
Not that I’m under 40. Or a woman.
It’s like any other risky behavior - there’s still a risk, but ultimately it’s up to you if you want to risk death in pursuit of orgasm.
Haha people get so pissy about reality - I’m a domme and engage in some choking, but have strict rules around it. It is silly to pretend there’s 0 risk to choking. Be informed and get consent.
Just a little throat clenching, not enough to get fuzzy, just enough to make breathing a bit harder, and to remind me that I’m her property
Edit: misread!
It’s still risky, but you do you.
I misread the nickname as Miistakes and thought that this is Miishas alt account
hmm naw not like this, I’d rather like stroke their cheek all nicely and give them a kiss ~
Have you considered putting your hands around their neck and not choking them? It’s very intimate
yeye I know that’s also wonderful. Maybe a bit of movement, a small bit of light scritchies. yeah. mhm thats nice, makes me make sounds—
Remember kids, learn how to do it safely before you try it in the bedroom!
Unfortunately, there is no truly safe way to choke. It’s always a risk. But please, please do look into it before choking anyone and always get consent first.
I also have a rule that no choking is allowed if the people involved are under the influence of anything. It’s too risky.
“Never drink and dom” was the one we learned, right after “safe, sane, and consensual”.
choking is pretty firmly outside of the ssc framework because it cannot be done safely. if you want to practice sexual asphyxiation, you’re looking for a risk aware consensual kink model.
According to the WHO you also cannot safely drink a single beer
That’s correct. Alcohol is a poison.
Tasty though
Unfortunately I don’t understand; it tastes overwhelmingly foul to me. I do understand it does something for some people, but I can’t share in it. I get no pleasure from it. I can write similar things for asphyxiation.
