Make it a good one.
Land the time machine on top of the first animal to walk on land. Don’t even have to get out of the machine.
I’d sink Cortez’s ship.
Go back from 2026 to 2024. Report a pet has gone missing and you heard that an immigrant neighbor ate it. Come back to 2026. Book your dream vacation at the Trump Gaza resort.
Shoot Arch Duke Ferdinand. Few people even now about it today, but he was subject to a horribly mangled assassination attempt that many scholars belive would have set off a major war in Europe had he died.
Holy crap it took way too long for me to realise what you’re doing
I legit popped this thread open to type
ohhh I wish I wish I hadn’t killed that fish…
You’re going to pretend we’re not on that timeline right now? I see your play, time traveller.
He did it.
The crazy son of a bitch did it.
Go back in time and do something to prevent Vasily Aleksandrovich Arkhipov from becoming the Executive Officer on the B-59 Soviet nuclear sub in October 1962. He’s the guy who talked the Captain and the Political Officer out of launching the nukes when they thought they were being attacked by the US Navy during the Cuban Missile Crisis. His persuasiveness is generally considered to have avoided WWIII from starting then.
You could also flip the switch that was literally the only thing keeping the nuke from exploding over North Carolina in the Goldsboro incident.
Nuke going off over US soil at the height of the cold war could very well have started everyone firing.
He probably literally saved the world, he should really be talked about more
The scary part is, he’s not the only one
Hmm I don’t know. Probably go back to Germany 1940 and give them all the information needed to develop nuclear weapons first. You just know that Hitler would’ve pushed the red button a hundred times over if he had the chance.
The TV serie “The Man in the High Castle” interestingly explores how would be the world if the nazis would have won the war.
I hate the ‘hate’ part (pardon the pun) of the question.
I’d rather go back in time and get Jesus and bring him back here so that he can go all ‘temple money changers’ on today’s MAGA Christians asses, give them a proper yelling to.
I’m sure he’d be deported and ignored if not put into an asylum.
Nah, when he uses his Jesussy powers he’d stare them down quick like, and they’d beg for forgiveness.
All hail…the Jesussy
You think they’d listen to a random brown dude who couldn’t speak English?
If there’s a jesus with powers in the first place, he could do the holy spirit thing that happened after his death where the apostles proselytized by speaking in languages they (previously) couldn’t to people who couldn’t understand the native tongue.
Something tells me that if Jesus was ‘Jesussy’ enough, that they’d listen to him, regardless of skin color.
I genuinely doubt it. And if he was proven to be truly Jesus and kept saying that then US Christians would either say “He doesn’t understand the modern world” or reject him for some other contrived reason (i.e. he was corrupted by modernity, the machine caused him to lose his connection to God, etc…)
Christians are full of hate because they love hate.
Jesus-y? Or Jesussy? Those seem different.
I want to watch this series.
Jesus the time traveler tells off assholes.
Go to back to the big bang. You presence alone will butterfly effect the earth out of existence.
I really like this question. So: rather than killing Hitler, what if, instead, you killed Stalin? Was it inevitable that a strongman dictator would have taken over, and ruined the potential of communism? I guess we have evidence that the answer is “yes,” in the form of Mao, but weren’t the Chinese communist party(s) greatly influenced by the Soviet model? What if Russia had, instead, developed a more democratic system of government - was it possible, and couldn’t it have affected how China’s developed? But, maybe it is always inevitable that dictators emerge from internal revolutions like this.
Here’s another scenario: what if you stopped Oswald, and prevented Kennedy from being assassinated? He was popular, and likely to win a second term. What would 4 (~5) more years of Kennedy look like?
My favorite version of “killing Hitler” is instead of murder, blackmail the school dean so Hitler gets admitted to art school. Goodbye genocidal tyrant, hello moderately successful landscape painter!
Check out the show 11.22.63 on Hulu. Exactly about preventing the Kennedy assassination and the fallout from that choice. Seriously good!
Based on the novel with the same name, by Stephen King. So that’s another option.
Go back to before life formed on earth, and shit in the ocean.
You would immediately die in agony. No oxygen and a lot more CO2 in the atmosphere
Also a climate so scorching hot we won’t ever see anything like it again before 2030.
And upon said death he would immediately shit himself. Mission accomplished!
It’s possible someone did, and that’s where we all come from
it would explain a lot
“Hey look! It’s the first fish to walk on land”
*stomps
“You saw it, it was coming right at us”
Get COVID, go back to the neander valley and cough.
Based, you might prevent the entire covid pandemic!
I read about a study that said Homo sapiens may have been down to as few as 40 breeding pairs at one point.
I’ve got way more ammo than that in my closet.
By eradicating one species, you’re probably going to save the entire planet. I guess in 500 million years the descendants of modern crows could become the new dominant species and they’ll end up nuking the planet sooner or later. You win some, you loose some.
Land octopus ftw
Squid. They’re much more social than octopodes. I for one welcome our new TEN tentacled overlords. Everyone knows ten tentacles is better than eight.
I’d kill my parents before I was born.
Easy now. You only have to kill one of them.
