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RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 3 months ago

Pentagon Warns China Developing Love, The Greatest Weapon Of All

theonion.com

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Pentagon Warns China Developing Love, The Greatest Weapon Of All

theonion.com

RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 3 months ago
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ARLINGTON, VA—In a high-level alert that revealed a geo-political rival of the United States could soon become the first nation capable of wielding the most powerful force in the universe, the Pentagon warned Friday that China was actively developing love, the greatest weapon of all. The alert, issued to the American public and top U.S. […]
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  • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    • samus12345@lemm.ee
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      3 months ago

      Is that the love between a man and a woman, or the love of a man for a fine Cuban cigar?

      • threshold_dweller@lemmy.today
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        3 months ago

        Depends what the meaning of “is” is.

  • Sundray@lemmy.sdf.org
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    3 months ago

    Damn! What’s our status on that whole “power of friendship” thing?

    • flicker@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      3 months ago

      I think the people of blahaj are developing the power of friendship.

      I suggest we let them cook and only ask them to weaponize it when we need it most.

      • djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        3 months ago

        …we were supposed to be developing the power of friendship? I thought we were all-in on girlkissing!

        • flicker@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          3 months ago

          Is that now how friendships are made?

          This explains why I have no female friends.

    • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de
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      3 months ago

      it’s called a union

    • finitebanjo@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      We’ve been riding on the pre-1990s prototype called NATO for a while now but it appears friendship built on premise of fear didn’t quite grow past the “don’t stab me and I won’t stab you” phase.

    • Ricky Rigatoni@lemm.ee
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      3 months ago

      30 years of power rangers seasons and still no real progress made.

  • zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev
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    3 months ago

  • veroxii@aussie.zone
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    3 months ago

    We’re going to need some Plutonium. And a Delorean.

    • samus12345@lemm.ee
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      3 months ago

      The good part is if you can get the plutonium once, you can go to 2015 and pick up a Mr. Fusion!

      • Duamerthrax@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        Don’t skimp out on the EV conversion.

        • samus12345@lemm.ee
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          3 months ago

          “Just, uh, don’t get anything called ‘Tesla.’ Trust me.”

          • Duamerthrax@lemmy.world
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            3 months ago

            If I had a Deloreann with a blown drivetrain, I’d absolutely do an EV conversion. You don’t even need junkyard Tesla at this point. You can get the EV mustang motor as a crate engine with warranty.

          • zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev
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            3 months ago

            Get the other vehicle with the brushed metal exterior.

  • finitebanjo@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    No the fuck they aren’t, they backed the Trump presidency.

  • IDKWhatUsernametoPutHereLolol@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    17 days ago

    deleted by creator

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