almost blew myself up for good after a pistol flare exploded half a meter from my face.
went to the ER with superficial burns on my left hand and hearing damage that still rears its ugly head out to this day.
each time i think about that moment i realise that if i had been in any other position when that flare blew up i probably wouldn’t be here todayWhen I was a kid I had a hypothesis that autistic people simply lacked souls and that that explained their symptoms. (I don’t think this anymore)
Hey my lack of soul is because i’m a fuckin redhead, not because i’m ASD
For what it’s worth, I got a solid laugh out of this. My partner is autistic, and I’m 100% telling them that it’s because they don’t have a soul.
I was witness to a very gorey and fatal lathe accident. It was bad enough that they shut the shop down for a month and paid for some therapy.
Jesus fuck that sounds bad… sorry about that.
That shop took a lot of shortcuts on safety. I had to pull a dude out of a mill to prevent a 2" drill going into his head because he tripped into it. Never again will I standby as I put my own hands at risk for efficiency over safety.
A while back, a friend of a friend of mine, all of us ended up together at some nerd type convention…
He’d beeen degloved.
But, miraculously, they surgeons and doctors had managed to … put the glove back on… and while he did have problems with certain motions and sensations… his hand pretty much worked normally, and I didn’t even see anything out of the ordinary wrong with his hand for hours… it just came up in conversation that that jad happened to him, and I was shocked.
Yeah I didn’t see it happen, but just thinking about industrial accidents… fucking oof.
Yeah, safety rules are written in blood, they’re there for a reason.
I’ve got PTSD for… non industrial accident reasons, but I absolutely sympathize with having to see something that horrific first hand.
RIP to the departed.
I realized I was trans in middle school, i said something suicidal to my friend and he told on me. I never really talked to the therapists because my mom was very homophobic. I got put on antidepressants and suppressed my feelings so hard I can hardly remember my childhood.
5 years later my depression went into “full remission” couple of months before I came out. I then 180°d and got sent to the psych ward for suicide ideation this February.The only thing that stopped me from killing myself is the realization that my cat would be rubbing against my body for pets in the ~10 hours it would take for my family to find me. I was planning to buy a knife after work but broke down in the bathroom.
Every time I have ever gotten to that point (not for at least 6 years now), it’s been my pets that immediately pulled me back. When I lived alone, I left myself sticky notes in places I would see when I needed them that said things like “your pets love you unconditionally” and “you’re Maya’s (my dog at the time. She’s died of old age at 15 since then) whole world”
I’m glad you’re still here.
I’m glad you stayed.
I can honestly say I don’t feel the emotion of guilt. I’m not a psychopath. I have a conscience and have a very strong moral compass.
But I don’t feel guilty. Just fear of getting caught… In fact what I feel most is fear. The only person who I feel happy with is my girlfriend and if she ever breaks up with me it’ll probably break me as a man.
But I don’t feel guilty. Just fear of getting caught…
That sounds an awful lot like you’re cheating on her.
You probably feel that way because you yourself are currently cheating.
I’m not afraid of getting caught for cheating because I’m not cheating. Unless I misread that and you did something else that you’re afraid of getting caught for.
Why do you think it is? Is it a lack of empathy? I feel guilty if I hurt someone because of how hurt they are, which is empathy.
I’m really good at operating vehicles and other heavy machinery while on LSD, it doesn’t significantly impair my coordination or reflexes. Delivered pizzas, drove a forklift once, and left more than a handful of underwhelming/unpleasant trip parties without having to wait til I came down. I suspect it’s a combination of my particular neurodivergence plus a lot of practice gaming while tripping, hard to prove though.
Go watch the end of wolf of wall street. The part where they think they are driving amazingly.
I’m built different
Wrong I presume?
Oh most definitely, ADHD+autism, in exchange for absurd skill acquisition and long-term info retention I have horrible short-term memory, intense executive dysfunction, depression, although that last one has been a lot better since I transitioned. Turns out one of the things that was wrong with my brain was an estrogen deficiency lol
You forgot the grandiosity.
Recognizing and honestly assessing your own strengths and weaknesses isn’t “grandiosity”, calm down
I droped LSD while working at a fuel station and it was the only time that people came back in to see my boss to tell them how great of a server I was. I even had a cool conversation with two cops who came in, which was terrifying because I also had my bong and weed in the toilet room behind them.
The right dosage at the right time can unlock easy access flow state, it’s a treat when it happens
Upvoted for being genuinely the scariest. It’s not scary that you’re really good. It’s scary that you actually believe yourself.
I have a sub aracnoid cyst, It started growing and shoving my brain into my spine, I had brain surgery, and I’m on a combo of meds that would kill a normal person. I experience hallucinations that I can never turn off all the time. Sparks, trailers, things that aren’t melting melting, usually numbers and letters, sometimes everything is technocolor, sometimes double vision, tunnel vision, White noise often sounds like angelic singing, I hear my name a lot when there’s no sounds, anyways. I live a mostly, kind of sort of, normal life. Driving isn’t really a problem, it’s not my reaction times or decision making that’s the issue, and the reality I see is doing weird shit, but I don’t see things in the wrong place. But also, these aren’t all happening all the time, abs if I get a few happening at once, I’ll try and take it easy. Things have gotten better with the dissolution of my former relationship. A lot less random dramatic stress.
Hey I am curious about how people experience hallucinations can I ask some questions?
Does being tired or sleepy effect it? For example just before falling asleep do you start hearing your voice more clearly or louder?
Do you actually see figures and people in front of you or is it more of a “I think I saw a black cat run in my peripheral vision” type of thing?
Thank you!
It is more that you see geometric patterns in stuff like leaves and clouds. Colors are a bit more saturated. Lines that are supposed to be straight are wobbling, kind of like those optical illusions but in everyday objects. I also saw wallpaper patterns spin in my peripheral vision.
It is less that you see things that aren’t there and more that the things that are there behave odd.
The biggest difference isn’t in the visuals but in the way your brain thinks. You think about the world from a whole new perspective. And this effect persist after the trip. You still have the same personality, but with the insight of a different perspective.
Falling asleep doesn’t change much. Your dreams might be more vibrant. But it would be a waste of a good trip.
I’ve never seen people, I do see geometric objects that aren’t there sometimes but it’s in my peripheral vision, if I turn and try and focus on it, it just disappears. anything that makes a normal person more susceptible to hallucinations also make it more likely for me, so dehydration, low blood sugar, sleep deprivation, sensory isolation, some drugs and medication. Sensory overloads. Oddly enough exercise is one of the worst triggers, I’ve been worried I’m gonna pass out from all the stacking effects messing up my vision.
That sounds difficult, one of my favorite parts of every trip is when it’s finally over. I’m glad to hear it’s not stopping you from living.
Depends on the person, some people are worse than average without stims.
Zero car accidents, flawless driving record. There are lots of things you can’t do, doesn’t mean they can’t be done.
Hopefully you don’t kill anybody else when it finally happens
You can sleep soundly, my driving skills and reflexes will continue being unreasonably good for another 2 or 3 decades at least, and I doubt I’ll still be driving myself anywhere by that point
RemindMe! 30 years
Or at least, you think you do.
If I wasn’t right about it I wouldn’t have a flawless driving record
…yet.
Just don’t take the chance, think of others
Dude I totally understand. I normally suck at video games but I’ve played Counter-Strike competitively on 25i before and I swear it turned me into a pro.
All of a sudden I could pinpoint enemies with millimeter precision from the sound of their footsteps alone. It was like having x-ray vision or echolocation, no joke (Shout out to the CS devs for their excellent sound design). My aim was suddenly a lot better too. Headshots were child’s play.
Wish I still had gameplay footage but unfortunately this was several PCs ago. It’s been a long time since I’ve fucked with psychedelics cause they don’t pair nicely with anxiety (only time I was able play video games on the stuff was when I was drunk too). I was never that good at video games ever again.
I remember one time playing Destiny 1 pvp peaking, I stopped being able to distinguish objects from environment but somehow I was still putting the crosshairs on people’s heads
My knife collection began because I was suicidal.
To keep myself around I got a bunch of knives so I wouldn’t pick a favorite and “dissapoint” the others.
…I got better.
You know, that is one of the most creative safety solutions I have heard. Glad you came up with it (probably due to still wanting to fight). The fight never stops, hope you are still doing well.
I have my moments, just like everyone else, but I have more good ones than bad ones. I do have a genuine love for knives though now, and still don’t have a favorite.
I keep seeing videos of a guy who buys TSA confiscated knives by weight & laughs at them for sucking, and I laugh harder because my angsty teenage self collected a lot of them back in the day.
Suppose I have it similar, don’t remember when exactly I got into knives but was depressed since 14 so it correlates.
I love this so much, is it that you have a lot of empathy?
Yep – It’s a gift & a curse.
I find it super easy to put myself in other people’s shoes and see what they’re going through, but I have a hard time expressing my own feelings. It’s turned me into a bit of a loner, but I do have a small circle of people I know & trust that I can be myself with.
I hear ya. I’m participating in a hiring panel and finding it really tough to reject candidates, especially when they’re nice. I just feel so much for them.
Hard not to start building a tough shell, take care of yourself
Out of all the reasons/sotires I have heard about why people didnt kill themselves this is by far the most absurd.
When I was younger, I believed that if a woman was raped, it was her fault for what she was wearing. My highschool friends called me the most unempathetic person they’d ever met and I was proud of that.
Thankfully I’ve turned right around on all that and learned empathy. I’m ashamed for my younger self, but I know they were just doing the best they could with the very few tools they were given.
I am in the same situation. “When I was a child I was the most unhinged asshole I know” is extremly common in this community and I have no clue why.
just a guess, but it could be because kids are dumb and we were all kids once trying to figure out the world with no experience. And then on top of that we tend to remember the cringe moments about ourselves even though those moments were likely an after thought to those around us.
Also, just guessing, there was a crappy role model or two.
Hey the moderator removed my reply. Well it’s a good thing he’s a moderator, otherwise he’d have to present a coherent argument in public like the rest of us instead of just censoring me.
I don’t know anything at all about the mods in this sub, nor what you said, so this isn’t a judgement of that mod at all. However…
I do share your frustration.
I get that mods don’t have time to enter arguments with commenters about their comments.
However, that dynamic does allow mods to just remove comments for ideological reasons, or their personal opinions.
When did reddit mods get on lemmy?
I once walked around for two days with a piece of someone else’s bone stuck in my thumb.
You can’t just drop that with no details!
I was working in the crematory, and accidentally cut myself. I was rushing to get some ashes transferred to another urn, because the family was waiting up front. Jabbed myself in the thumb with the wire cutters that we use to get the zip ties off of the bags that hold the ashes inside the urn. Cleaned it up and put a Band-Aid on it. Few days later it still hurt like crazy. I saw when I looked at it that there is a little bit of pus coming out. I squeezed it a little and a little short of bone popped out. Felt a lot better once it fell out!
He got in a fight. Probably a piece of tooth got lodged in his hand for a couple days.
Ackshually… Tooth isn’t bone
Right. They’re hairy and secrete milk. So, mammal.
I’m 99% sure I know my killer is me… eventually as my spine falls apart and suffering massively increases with time. And I’m okay with that so long as it is my choice. When people talk about suicide, I strongly believe in the saying, “no permanent solutions for temporary problems.” But I strongly believe in this saying from both perspectives, aka “permanent solutions are your personal choice that I fully respect as an unalienable human right, if you choose, due to permanent problems.” Anyone trying to steal such an unalienable human right from another is exceptionally ignorant of the magnitude of potential suffering and is criminally sadistic as far as I’m concerned.
I also have chronic pain and it’s really the worst. Sorry you’re saddled with it too. It’s interesting how if you say what you just did to “normal people”, they’ll often react by trying to talk you out of your opinion, but chronic pain sufferers usually just grunt their agreement.
I think AI will just cure that…if you have the money.
I’m sorry to hear about your pain. I have chronic pain but I’m very young so I’m not close to this point yet. I understand how hard it is just to function day to day. Good luck man
For serious. The story of Hisashi Ouchi should be enough to convince anyone with an ounce of heart that assisted suicide needs to be a human right. Kept alive for 83 days when he was begging to be put down while he was conscious. His cells literally did not have any more valid DNA. He was a dead man being kept alive, because his family refused to allow the doctors to pull the plug.
Insane, inhuman torture because your own family cannot let you go… Such absolute selfish insanity from them.
I recommend you check out Wendigoon’s video on the subject. There was some faulty reporting on what actually went on there. The doctors, nurses and the family were not monsters and Hisachi himself was not begging for death. He tried to hold on to life for the sake of his family. It is a very touching story that fell victim to sensationalism because apparently, going through insane radiation sickness wasn’t sensational enough.
I’ve seen several videos on it and most said he did. Not at first. Later, when he was near comatose.
Honestly I can’t refute that. Thankfully, euthanisation is legal in some countries (The Netherlands & Switzerland) but many countries need to catch up to it. I’m sorry that you are going through what you are going through, and I hope that you will be able to go on your terms rather than your illness’ terms
don’t say any of that to anyone in person. you might get section 12’d
Society deserves more capable system thinkers
That’s what I made !complexity@lemmy.world for 😁
Euthanasia for is legal for many terminal conditions that involve extreme suffering in in a few countries now: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legality_of_euthanasia
What does this mean?
Going off context, I’d guess it’s like California’s 5150. If you threaten harm on yourself they give you a pair of really cool socks to calm you down.
Ah, I see. I was finding Canadian results but we have medical assistance in dying (MAID) now.
At least Canada is more honest, in that the government wants their citizens to fucking kill themselves rather than pay to help them first.
When I was a kid I told a Special Ed teacher who I trusted that one of the gym teachers was having sex with high school students and grooming girls as young as 14.
Rather than report this to the authorities he told the gym teacher what was said. The next day the gym teacher (who was a big former semi-pro football player or something like that) cornered me and intimidated me into shutting my mouth.
2 years later a former student confronted the gym teacher’s wife. In the fallout his behavior came to light and he left our school and went to teach a few towns over. The Special Ed teacher joked about it after the fact.
It was probably 20 years before I fully understood the scope of how disgusting that situation was.
Big props for you trying to get people involved though, most obviously did nothing.
I was once bitten by a kissing bug.
when encountering new people i am open and friendly, but mask up as they start saying things that let me know they are not safe people. at some point they become unsettled and go away.
My parents made me way too casual of a liar…
Okay it might have been my fault
